Is It Time for “The Talk”

Last night as I was reading a book, with the finale of America’s Got Talent on for background noise, my daughter playing with her cats, she suddenly blurted out a very unexpected question to me. “Can you accidentally get pregnant?” Ummmm, WHAT?!?! I’m not sure if my head spun all the way around because I think I blacked out temporarily, as I dropped my book on the ground. If you’ve been reading my blog, you will know that my daughter just turned 10 a month ago. That’s only 121 months old! A mere baby! Attempting to cover up the fact that I am majorly freaking out over this line of questioning, I say “why do you ask?” Of course, she is very embarrassed to say anything, but I finally pry it out of her that she has been hearing things on the playground. Apparently other 5th graders — YES, FIFTH GRADERS — have been talking about THAT, the big one, S-E-X.  OMG! They mature fast these days, don’t they? Heaven help us all.

These misinformed little girls are under the impression that they can accidentally get pregnant by kissing boys. Oh my! I assured my daughter this is not the way it works. I also told her she should not hang around with any of these girls. (She doesn’t.) I asked if she was curious and if she wants to have a talk about it and she said yes. Oh boy. I really was not prepared for this for at least another 2 years or so. But I would rather that she is informed properly than learn from kids on the playground who are entirely clueless. I made her promise that she doesn’t share anything I tell her with anyone else because I really don’t need any parents calling me!

I should have suspected this was coming when a week ago we were on our way out to dinner and her sweet voice came from the backseat and asked how babies got here. She said “do moms and dads have to put their potty places together?” My husband and I have never laughed so hard. We said “something like that”, to which she replied “eeeww, why would anyone want to do that?” I will talk to her this weekend, she will be horrified and likely never look at us the same again. Hopefully she won’t have a boyfriend until she is at least 20.

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