Yesterday is the first day I didn’t cry. I guess that’s an improvement. It is a month tomorrow since my mom passed away. I’m working on a book about my mom and it seems to be helping to re-live some memories. It sort of makes me feel like she’s still here. I’ve got 42 pages so far. I just don’t think it’s going to be one of those 300 page books. I messaged some of my mom’s cousins and friends on her facebook page to get some stories about her, but of course, I’m not their friend and my last name is not the same as it was when I was a kid, so I don’t think they know who I am, and they aren’t reading the messages. I’ve also asked her two brothers for stories, but they can’t seem to manage to even call or return my email. Really?! Well, I guess since they have been unable to have a family Christmas since my grandma died in 2007, I guess they can’t be bothered to make a phone call either. I suspect I’ll never see either one of them again since my mom is gone. Oh well.
As I said, I didn’t cry yesterday, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t cry today. I have a medical test tomorrow and I’m nervous. I wish I could talk to my mom so she could tell me not to worry. It will be an uncomfortable test. It won’t last long, but I’ve been dreading it for a week. I just want it over with. I know she would say “it won’t last forever” or “this too shall pass”.
I got an email today from my daughter’s school principal asking how we were doing, which I thought was very kind. I appreciate that we haven’t been forgotten even a month later.