Christmas Eve

Well, it has been a day. I haven’t been in the best mood today. My daughter was acting up a little bit and everything she did irritated me. I’m guessing most of it was just my mood. The “I-wish-I-could-skip-Christmas-and-I-wish-my-mom-was-here” mood. It’s not her fault. It’s mine.

I talked to my mom’s husband this morning to see how he was doing and to make sure he has somewhere to be tomorrow for Christmas. Thankfully some friends have invited him over. I also asked if he received the package I sent him. He hasn’t. I got on the post office website to track it and it was delivered a week ago. Some porch pirates much have taken it. Evil bastards! Well, the sons-a-bitches didn’t get anything valuable to anyone but us. The package contained a calendar with pictures of my family and pictures of my mom when she was young that I thought John might like to have. Luckily, I had made copies and didn’t send any irreplaceable originals. I really hope those assholes read the card I sent and realized that they stole memories from someone whose wife just died. Jerks! I can reorder the calendar and have already copied the pictures again, but that’s not the point. It just adds to the grief when someone steals. It didn’t help my sour mood this morning.

Tonight we went to the candlelight service at church. It was so nice. They had so much music. We have a wonderful organ with powerful pipes. The choir is fantastic! The bell choir also played and a clarinet quartet played as well. As the service began, a soloist got up and sang “O Holy Night”. Her voice was stunning. I lost it and bawled my head off. As she was singing, the entire choir came up the aisles with candles and the lights were all off and they sang with her. Yep, I was done. My husband even got choked up. The service was very moving and lots of singing. Toward the end, we sang “Angels We Have Heard on High”. It has a lot of organ music, and my grandma played the organ professionally. She loved that song. There was a point in the song about the second chorus where I suddenly heard these tinkling bells in the music. I happened to look at my grandma’s ring on my hand, and I felt like she and my mom were in that church somewhere. The bells weren’t in the first chorus. It’s like they just appeared in the music. It made me feel like my mom got her wings. Somehow it just made me feel a little bit better.

We took some family pictures when we got home. Let the kiddo open 1 present, read “The Night Before Christmas”, and now we are waiting for her to go to bed. We told her Santa won’t show up if she doesn’t go to sleep. I’m pretty sure Santa is getting tired.

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