Elf Problems

Presents are wrapped. Just in the knick of time before school lets out on Friday. Hopefully they are hidden well enough. The kid is getting more and more suspicious. Today the elf was “teaching” math to Barbies on her dry erase board and Jingles handwriting looked a little bit too much like mine. She immediately ran up from the basement and said “why does Jingles handwriting look so much like yours?” Of course, I was born on a Wednesday, but not last Wednesday. I quickly replied that Jingles can likely take on the persona of anyone. Well, this little smart ass is too big for her britches. She shot back “I’ve never seen Jingles use my handwriting or dad’s”. I asked her what she was accusing me of and told her that I was sure that Jingles is going to report her to Santa when she flies to the North Pole tonight. I also added a note to the dry erase board from Jingles (in Jingles normal, but different, handwriting) that said “I heard you this morning. You made me sad:(”

Having a child who still believes in Santa is exhausting. Especially at her age. For one, she’s way too smart. She’s much smarter than I was at 10. I don’t remember that far back, but I’m pretty sure she is. Either that or my mom wasn’t as good as hiding it and coming up with good fibs. As I was wrapping presents, I have to write all the tags in my special “Santa” font that is very swirly and fancy. I can’t slip and make them any different because I’m sure she analyzes each one. It’s exhausting! I also have to sort out which presents are from us and which ones are from Santa so everyone gets appropriate credit. We’re giving her the best ones this year though. She wants to be an astronomer, so we got her a telescope. She’s going to freak. No WAY is the big man getting credit for that! I also have separate wrapping paper for Santa presents because she can’t think that Santa sits here and wraps presents. How could he possibly have time to do that?! So I hide the Santa paper in a separate spot from all the other paper. Ugh! It will be so much easier when she knows the real deal. Although then I’m sure she will accuse us of lying to her all these years!

Oh well, I much prefer it this way. It’s a lot of work and I hold my breath every night when I move that stupid elf that she doesn’t hear me or happen to come downstairs when I’m moving it. But, I so much want to preserve her innocence. That year when you’re a kid and you finally learn the truth is a real letdown.

Elf on the Shelf

Do you have the Elf on the Shelf? It’s an excellent tool to help keep your kids in line during the holidays. I’m tempted to keep my elf out all year round. I don’t have the Elf on the Shelf. I think it has a creepy looking face. I have an elf I bought at Hobby Lobby years ago and is much cuter. It’s arms are holding a present in front of it, so it makes a bit less flexible, but it works just as well. Our elf is named Jingles.

Jingles gets into lots and lots of mischief. She has been out since Thanksgiving and the ideas are getting harder to come up with. Yesterday Jingles decided to use my crock pot as a spa bath with marshmallows as bubbles. Seriously Jingles! Jingles causes all kinds of trouble around here. She has been known to make snow angels in flour, “fish” for goldfish in the bathtub, plays cards or Yahtzee with other elves, sips syrup out of the bottle with Barbie, drives Barbie’s cars, swings upside down from the chandelier. She even sat on top of a bottle of Southern Comfort one night. I made a mark on the bottle and made my daughter think she drank some! I think tonight Jingles is going to run a sack race with some stuffed animals. My daughter gets so annoyed by some of the antics, it’s hilarious. The more irritating, the better.

Whenever she is getting sassy, I just tell her Jingles is going to talk to Santa when she gets to the North Pole that night, so she better shape up. Of course, she can’t touch the elf, or she takes away its magical powers, but she always pretends she’s going to touch it.

Since all her friends are telling her there is no Santa, I have a feeling this may be the last year she believes, so I have to really spice it up this year. The first day Jingles came out, she was being really sassy and asked how she can possibly fly all the way to the North Pole and all the way back every single night. She was being very skeptical. The next morning, Jingles was in the same place holding a sign that said “Elf on Strike: you didn’t believe in me, so I’m not moving”. She apologized to Jingles, so Jingles started moving.

I have a little too much fun with Jingles and seeing the expressions every morning. I think the very best one is when Jingles poops out Hershey’s kisses. And when my husband eats them!!!