Pool Rules

I attended my favorite aqua cardio class today with trainer Dalfim. He sure is a charmer with those old ladies. During “Macho Man”, he jumps up and does splits in the air. Today he did a couple push ups and he actually pushed himself off the ground about a foot and clapped his hands. WOW! I would have had a broken nose if I tried that. He really woke up the crowd and those old women were smiling and batting their eyes at him like they were in love. Ooo la la! It was hysterical!

I have a list of pool rules that I think everyone must follow, but especially if you are over the age of 70.

  • No speedos – I think this definitely applies to everyone, but seriously if you are over 70 and your gut hangs several inches over the speedo, it’s a definite no.
  • No make-up – Really ladies? Make-up in the pool? You’re gonna get wet and it’s going to smear down your face. Get over it and go without the make-up.
  • Don’t fix your hair and expect it to stay dry – once my husband came to water aerobics with me and jumped in the pool and a lady bit his head off and said “some of us don’t want our hair to get wet”. Really? You’re in a pool!!!!
  • No white swimsuits gentlemen – For the love of Pete men, you can see right through it (if you know what I mean). There is one VERY old man who comes in every day in white swim trunks. When it gets wet — ARRGGHH!
  • Ladies, if you are a little heavy on the bottom (front and back), PLEASE get a full coverage swimsuit. And when it starts to stretch out, please look in the mirror and get a new one. Everyone can see everything that hangs out of it. Some things you just can’t un-see. I’m getting a little grossed out at the pool.

Now, I’m not perfect, but I don’t think I’m grossing anyone out either. At least I hope not.