I couldn’t sleep last night. Or the night before. I don’t know what my problem is. All I know is that I want to be like my cats who are currently sound asleep next to me curled up on top of each twisted every which way. If I ever get reincarnated, I want to come back as one of them. I was wide awake from 2:45 to 6:15. Ugh! My mind was wandering about everything from where should I put the cat dishes when I show the house, to what do I need from Target on Wednesday (I can’t remember anything I thought of), to needing to ask my neighbor to save me some newspapers when I start packing (we don’t get the paper, and also, I forgot to do this). No good comes from thinking in the middle of the night. I try very hard to go to my happy place to get back to sleep. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I finally fell asleep sometime around 6:30ish. I had a dream about my mom for the first time in over 3 weeks. We were sitting at a picnic table and she was eating Taco Bell. Her favorite. She was eating like 6 tacos! She was very tiny and could never eat that much! Although, when it comes to Taco Bell, she probably could. It was a silly, very short dream, but those dreams about her make me know she is with me.
Well, now it’s 2019 and I’m happy to see 2018 go. The kiddo goes back to school tomorrow, so we can all get back on a regular schedule. I’m ready to get back to the gym. The last 2 days, I have been massively cleaning house to prepare it for sale. I have the entire first floor done already. I even cleaned the refrigerator! Next I have to tackle the second floor and then the dreaded basement [insert scary music]. I wrote up the sale flyer today and all we have to do is measure all the rooms, take the pictures, put a sign in the yard and hope for some phone calls. We are going to give it a try on our own, so wish us luck. I will really miss this house, but I have come to realize that it’s time for a change. This is the third year of driving my daughter 40 minutes round trip to school and I can’t keep doing it. It has really worn on me. There are mornings that I don’t think I can do it another day.
I also woke up this morning deciding that I’m not going to live my life worrying about everything so much anymore. My mom was a chronic worrier, so I know where I got it from. I worry about my health a lot and I don’t want to be like that anymore. I don’t want to end up like my parents. My dad died 14 years ago at age 58. Much too young. My mom was only 72. My grandparents on my mom’s side were both 87. I want to take after them and be around for my daughter. I don’t know anything about my dad’s side. They were divorced when I was 2. I think the less I worry, the healthier I will be.
I’m going to work on having the attitude that everything will work out for the best and that God has a plan for us. I also know that now we have a special angel watching over us and she will always keep an eye on us.