My daughter has been bugging me to have “the talk” with her. You know what I’m talking about. Yep, that one. The sex talk. I wrote about this before. She has overheard girls on the playground talking about it and started asking questions. The playground girls think that they can get pregnant by kissing boys. Ummm, I don’t think they listened very closely to the presentation that was given last year at school.
Well, I broke down and talked to her. Although, I wasn’t ready. I thought I had a few more years before this came up. I don’t think she was either, but no time like the present. Right? I can’t let her run around thinking babies come from kissing. I would rather she be informed properly than listen to a bunch of uninformed girls on the playground. I asked her what she thought happens and she had a very general idea. I explained the whole puberty thing and getting her period and how all that works for girls. How boys voices will start to change, etc. Then I had to get to the nitty gritty. Ugh! I didn’t want to talk about it any more than she wanted to hear about it. I did stress that you only do it when you really love someone and usually when you are married. Once I gave her the details, she ran to the bathroom and made sounds like she was throwing up. Then she came back and shouted, “I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT’S HOW I WAS BORN!!!!!!!” Ha ha! I’m pretty sure I scared her off from anything to do with THAT until she is at least 30.
I did let her know it’s actually pretty amazing that God planned it this way and a whole person is suddenly born. It’s pretty much a miracle. She still better wait until she’s 20, or else.
Last night as I was reading a book, with the finale of America’s Got Talent on for background noise, my daughter playing with her cats, she suddenly blurted out a very unexpected question to me. “Can you accidentally get pregnant?” Ummmm, WHAT?!?! I’m not sure if my head spun all the way around because I think I blacked out temporarily, as I dropped my book on the ground. If you’ve been reading my blog, you will know that my daughter just turned 10 a month ago. That’s only 121 months old! A mere baby! Attempting to cover up the fact that I am majorly freaking out over this line of questioning, I say “why do you ask?” Of course, she is very embarrassed to say anything, but I finally pry it out of her that she has been hearing things on the playground. Apparently other 5th graders — YES, FIFTH GRADERS — have been talking about THAT, the big one, S-E-X. OMG! They mature fast these days, don’t they? Heaven help us all.
These misinformed little girls are under the impression that they can accidentally get pregnant by kissing boys. Oh my! I assured my daughter this is not the way it works. I also told her she should not hang around with any of these girls. (She doesn’t.) I asked if she was curious and if she wants to have a talk about it and she said yes. Oh boy. I really was not prepared for this for at least another 2 years or so. But I would rather that she is informed properly than learn from kids on the playground who are entirely clueless. I made her promise that she doesn’t share anything I tell her with anyone else because I really don’t need any parents calling me!
I should have suspected this was coming when a week ago we were on our way out to dinner and her sweet voice came from the backseat and asked how babies got here. She said “do moms and dads have to put their potty places together?” My husband and I have never laughed so hard. We said “something like that”, to which she replied “eeeww, why would anyone want to do that?” I will talk to her this weekend, she will be horrified and likely never look at us the same again. Hopefully she won’t have a boyfriend until she is at least 20.